I wish that..

I am sitting in my room waiting on my roommate to get back from her weekend with her boyfriend. I feel like we can tell each other anything! I am so excited for her to get back so we can talk about our weekends. Recently, I lost two of my best friends and she's been here to listen to me vent. I cannot describe how upsetting it is to lose your best friend of 9 years. I have some ridiculous feelings, but I wish my friends would realize that there are boundaries. I just wish that everything could be placed back together again. My friends would accept that I have boundaries when it comes to girls communicating and spending time with my boyfriend. I know they would feel the same way if even I did that, but right now, they're single and wouldn't understand. I just wish things would go back to the way they were and my friends would listen to my feelings again and talk to me when I needed a shoulder to cry on.

I cannot wait till February 14 or 15th... whenever it is that I will see him again.

I also cannot wait for my RUDE SUITEMATE or her RUDE BOYFRIEND to unlock our damn bathroom door. And my RUDE SUITEMATE to train her RUDE BOYFRIEND to flush the potty and to put the toilet seat down. It's a girls bathroom STUPID PERSON!

Meeting the Dad

So as you know, Michael and I will have been together 2 1/2 years next week! :) Last week he got in touch with his Dad and they talked for a long time. Apparently it was his Grandpa's birthday so it would work out just great if we came to visit and have me meet his family. It was nice to finally have met all of his family now! We got to spend a lot of time together, just the two of us, without worrying about school, army, or having to do things for both of our families. We also got to spend a lot of time reflecting and planning, it was fun! He was also able to show me places and things from his childhood which was great to finally get to see.

Please pray for him though because he's having a rough time at Fort Hood and beginning to get discouraged!

I came back from my mini vacation and got to catch up with my roommate! We've been getting a lot of roommate bonding time here lately and we are starting to talk about maybe getting an apartment together next year off campus! I'm soo excited about possibly having my own room/bathroom and having a kitchen to cook in and living room to separate work from sleep!

I'm pretty down right now because it is probably going to be at least another 2 weeks before I see Michael again...I really am just ready to get college and the army over with at this point!

Realization

So we talked about everything. We came down to the conclusion, we're just going to have to wait until I graduate and he's done with the Army. He doesn't want me to give up my education to twittle my thumbs for 12-18 months while he's gone when I can spend time with him on the weekends and finish school. It's hard, but we can do it just like everything else.

So, here is an update...Michael is now at Fort Hood and got in the Unit he wanted. We found out yesterday he is set to deploy in September sometime, but that will probably change because the military always bumps deployments up, in a way I hope they move it to late June or Early July so that way he'll be home for either the holidays or sometime in February for R and R to celebrate 3 1/2 years (at that point), his birthday or Valentine's Day. I know I'm looking too far ahead but it's hard not to when you're ready to get done with school and start your life together.

I currently hold a 3.292 GPA (ickkk!) I want to improve it this semester so I will be working my butt off! I am also taking 18 hours this semester and so far, I've been in bed by midnight every night and had homework each of those nights!

I also have breaks in between classes now, well at least one break each day, it is really nice.

Speaking of breaks, this one is over..Time for Intro to Music Education! I love FIT and Intro to Mus. Ed., it's a bunch of talking that just teaches us how to be teachers! :)

Untitled.

So many people have been getting engaged and married over the holidays. In a sense, I am jealous. Michael and I decided only a few days after he left for Basic Training that we could not live without each other and that we wanted to get married, since then my parents caught on and I began discussing it with them. THEY want us to wait until after I've finished school and Michael has finished his first 4 years or finished his term if he does not re-enlist after this term is up. I totally think that is what we should be doing, because we're only 18, but we've been together coming up on 2 1/2 years on February 3rd and he's been in the army and away from me for months and weeks at a time for a little over half of a year now. Being an Army Girlfriend has made me rather independent which is good, I needed that change. I felt so complete over Christmas Break being able to see him everyday for 3 weeks. It all felt right, perfect and amazing. Without him here, I just do not feel myself. Michael is more than the man I Love, he is also my BEST FRIEND. I tell him everything and we have been through so much together. I feel that we've made it through the stress of training, a deployment is coming up this summer and if we make it through that, we can make it through anything and everything, we're 90 % there. We could conquer the world.

Seeing all these people getting engaged and married has really got me thinking. By all these people, I mean I've heard about at least 12 if not more people who got engaged during Christmas Break.

Right now, all I want in life is to call him my husband and I hate the feeling of not being able to do something I feel is right in my heart because my parents think we're too young and that I need to finish school. My Education is extremely important to me, but I just feel so incomplete without him. I know he'll be deployed soon and probably for a year to 18 months, but what about now? He's still here! Why can't we make the best of it? By the time we can get married, we will have been together about 6 years and who knows how long we will have been together by the time we actually get to finally get married..could be 7 or close to 8 years. I just don't feel like waiting that long, I am already waiting on other things.

Call me crazy, but I just feel ready and feel like it's time. It's almost to the point where I don't care what others think, this is my or OUR life and I just want what will make us both happy. I don't want to sit here in college looking forward to graduation day just so I can finally marry him...I know I put myself in this position, but I'm Sorry, you can't fight feelings nor can you change Love. It captured our hearts. It found us.